car trouble as an indicator of things crumbling

car is broken down again. this time overheated then there was a gurgling noise from the AC, then there was steam and oozing liquid around the oil tank. it's stuck on St. Charles and i have to wait to get it towed or try to move it. FUCK THIS. i already poured about 600 bucks into the thing, and now it just has to sit there. you sorry little car. you cute little thing.

this goes back to the cinematic post. if someone was there to witness the poetry of my car breaking down AND, AND the fact that i fucked up a friend's care all in one week, it would be some kind of epic symbolism (HAHAHHA). but because no-one is there to give a shit, i just feel kind of lowly and desperate, and no-one really cares.

i felt like everything i touched (in terms of cars, well uhhhhh.....) was being destroyed. like the little phenomenal machines around me had to go and die or get injured. i still hate cars, they are very worrisome and expensive and gas guzzling and you have to give a shit about them. i specifically bought a car i did not give a shit about (other than it being my *first one* and there is a certain level of sentimental attachement there. barf.) then all i COULD do was worry about it.

i took the bus today back and forth to a meeting. then i walked home from work and walked to the store after that. i feel civil and self-righteous taking public transportation, and i like it. it is horrible here, but it was fun for a day. i am sure i will be missing my four wheels and a seat soon.

UPDATE ( I started that a few days ago): thanks to a lovely person i have taken said friend's car to see what needed to be done and what the cost would be (don't ask) and also gotten my car towed to the mechanic, whom i have not yet called to find out the damage. whee! but at least the wheels of repair are in motion (horrible pun intended).